About Me Who I Am My View of the Scene What I Am Looking For

The leather/ SM/ fetish Scene, or just Scene for short, is not my life.  It is not even the biggest part of it.  It is however, a central part of me and one that I cherish.

To me the Scene is special.  It is fun, satisfying, and very rewarding.  I have carved a home in it through my actions within it and for others also in it.  I have been going at this for more than four decades now and have been playing on both sides of this country and both sides of the gender line as well.  I have met some truly wonderful people in the Scene, some of whom I count myself as being very lucky to be able to call my friends.

To me the Scene is, in part, about a respectful power exchange.  If there is no respect then the SM becomes violence and I will not stand for that.  Without respect I can not submit.  Without respect I can not accept another's submission.  With respect I have gone further and deeper than I would have ever believed possible.  That is one of the reasons I am in the Scene and the main reason I have thrived within it for so long.

While I enjoy life outside the Scene and seek to do more things non-Scene related, I know in my heart that for me, no good relationship is possible with another person unless he or she too is in the Scene.  What I have found in the Scene is too intense and too special not to be unable to share it with my partner or playmate.  I am not saying that everyone I meet or play with has to be able to go as deep as I have but I am saying that vanilla folk need not apply.  You just won't get it and it would take me too long to teach it to you.  Sorry.

I am also an interesting mix of Old Guard/ New Guard when it comes to the Scene.  I truly enjoy clear roles and some of the ritual that can come with them.  I also appreciate what earned honors mean.  What Joseph Bean has written about what it is to be Old Guard has been powerful enough to bring tears to my eyes.  Yet at the same time I can not stand pretense.  The Scene for me is about honesty, respect, and equality.  Artificial titles, mannerisms, behaviors, and empty rituals just turn me off.  I am also just perverse enough to want to tweak the nose of Establishment just ‘cuz!  So, as is the rest of me, there is a paradox here too.

I am not trying to be overly heavy here nor put too much burden upon the playtime I seek with other's.  We do call it “play” after all.  Instead I am trying to explain what motivates me to have this sort of fun.  This is not a fad for me, it is not something I do to prove I am more butch than others.  I am not “into” this because the leathers look cool.  I am into this because it feels good, I have fun while doing it, and it touches my soul.

Many is the time during my Scene play that I am smiling or laughing - be this on the bottom or the top.  In my view, if you aren't having fun then you aren't doing it right.  I have had some truly excellent and deep scenes in which I have been laughing and smiling most of the way through.  I have also had some other wonderful scenes where I have been wailing in agony and crying my eyes out with deep sobs.  It all depends.

It depends on the chemistry of the person that I am with and the Sex Magic that we create.  That is one good definition of SM for me; Sex Magic.  It also describes another facet of my approach to this life.  My SM is very sexual and my sex is very SM.  Most of the time I do not have the time, the energy or the intimacy with the other person to go as deeply into the Scene as I would like.  That has not prevented either of us from having and excellent time though.  What I have achieved instead is something akin to “rough sex.”  Sensual, passionate, intense, powerful and erotic sex.  Something less than a deep SM session but more than just a simple fuck.  If you have been there, then you know.

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This page was last updated on: 18 August 2021